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Bible Stories

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A Christmas Surprise

A long held secret comes out...

On their fortieth wedding anniversary, Joseph and Mary made love under the date tree. He wasn’t able to screw her as energetically as he once had, but he knew his wife’s body well enough. When they’d finished, he turned to her and asked the question he’d...

Oh Come, Let Us Adore Him

The Monty Python influence is strong in this one...

“It seems to me,” muttered Balthazar as he stirred the teapot, “That gold, frankincense, and myrrh are pretty stupid gifts to bring a ten-day-old baby. Why don’t we get him a stuffed camel or a rattle or something like that? Something he might actually en...

Alison Goes to London: chapter 19 - Make Love to Me

“My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me forever." (J.A.)

  Outside number 38B Tottenham Cunt Road, any parishioner arriving for the advertised Requiem mass that Sunday morning might have noticed a young couple standing guard on the opposite side of the road. Actually, only one of them was standing; the other wa...

And There Came Two Angels to Sodom

A Bible story (Gen. 19:1-35, Ps. 9:1-6, Wis. 10:6-7)

And there came two angels to Sodom at even; and Lot sat in the gate of Sodom: and Lot seeing them rose up to meet them; and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground; and he said, “Behold now, my lords, turn in, I pray you, into your servant's hous...

Hallelujah

If a king is chosen by God as the voice for God, can he ever be wrong?

  King David sat at his Harp, gently plucking at the strings. His nimble fingers finding their notes with precision. He had now been playing the harp for as many years as the greatest harpist in any of the nations around Israel. People would gather from t...

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Judah: I shagged a prostitute, not realising it was my daughter-in-law!

Judah gets in all sorts of trouble with his daughter in law

Genesis 38 King James Version  11 Then said Judah to Tamar his daughter in law, Remain a widow at thy father's house, till Shelah my son be grown: for he said, Lest peradventure he die also, as his brethren did. And Tamar went and dwelt in her father's ho...

The Preacher's Wife

A minister's wife gets drunk at a party. Nude pictures arrive with blackmail demand for 15 thousand.

I had not expected the ship to be as huge as it was, dwarfing its surroundings. As I walked along the gangway I met him for the first time. I bumped into him when he turned to wave to someone on the pier. He bent down and picked up the purse I had dropped...